At church, my eight-year-old daughter's teacher remarked at how smart their class was, so Honeybird answered, "it's cuz we're in second grade." It made the grown-ups laugh.
I asked my six-year-old if he was learning "America the Beautiful" for school, because he had been singing it from a paper. He responded, "Yes, we are going to sing it to the vegetarians."
I hesitate to share this quote, because it goes against a rule I made when I started this blog many years ago. Never say "poop." Or "poopy." But, it was so funny that night not long ago when our four-year-old spoke up what was on his mind at dinner: "Diarrhea is just poop that's all squished up."
I can't think of a quote for my eleven-year-old, so I'm going to tell her favorite joke:
An elderly lawyer was about to die. One day he told his wife he had come up with a way to take all of the money he had with him to heaven. He told his wife to put all of his money in the attic so when he died he could grab it on the way up.
A couple of weeks after he died his wife was cleaning out the attic and saw that the money bags were still there. "That old fool," she chuckled. "I told him that we should have put the money in the basement!"
One day while I was napping and my husband was "watching" the kids, my youngest child drew some Easter drawings and then glued them to the dining room wall. When I noticed it the next day at dinner he said, "But you runned out of tape." It was so cute I couldn't be upset. A few weeks later we were talking about someday selling our house and my six-year-old son said, "We can't sell the house. There are pictures glued to the wall."
One morning I asked my four-year-old son if he wanted egg toast and he said, "Yes, but no egg." Now almost every day he tells me he wants his toast not to be toasted.
I found this quote on Pinterest that sums up how I feel right now: "Before we used to pass the time, but now the time is passing us." -Shushant Mojumdar