Quoting the Cute: Page Seven

My oldest daughter said to me after I took away her toy for misbehaving: "When I grow up, I'm never gonna come visit you. You'll be sorry!" I turned from her and stifled a laugh, picturing my daughter as a grown woman refusing to visit me because I took away her sticky foot when she was six.

My two-year-old has the funniest vocabulary: lollipop (but she means soda pop), honeybird (but she means hummingbird), woman noodles (but she means Ramen noodles, which makes me laugh, especially because of this). I absolutely love the way she says her sister's name. A couple of weeks ago, she had a nasty cold and every time she'd cough and I'd sympathize, she'd say, "I not sick. I just sneezing a little."

My baby has gone verbal. He loves to say "hi!" (especially to strangers), sometimes "bye," but he loves "hi" the best. He says "uh-uh" instead of "uh-oh," and it's very endearing with his gravelly little boy voice (which is still so intriguing to me after two girls). His answer to literally everything is a whiny two-toned "no!" (even when he really means "yes"). As you can imagine, I can have a lot of fun with this.

I Remember

Yesterday as I sat in church, three children climbing over me, taking turns in my lap (sometimes two at a time), I kissed each one as they came close to me. With each kiss also came a silent prayer of gratitude to my Father in Heaven.

Ten years ago, every Sunday I sat quietly on a bench by my husband, often wiping tears as I turned my internal conversations to God. I prayed for a miracle. I prayed for a baby as I listened to the noise of all of the children around me.

With time (years), I began to pray for joy instead of babies. I clung to the hope that the loving atonement of my Savior could heal my aching mother heart, even if I never became a mother in this life. I prayed for strength to say, "Thy will be done" and really mean it.

God is love. The gift He gave to me, the answer to that prayer, is one of my greatest treasures (and I love that it is also a blessing to my children). I thank Him every day for my happiness: the happiness that comes because of Him, not because of them. My children do make me happy, yes! But I understand that the joy He gave to me (before I knew my children existed) is eternal.

It is a good thing, because I can see that they are going to grow up and go away long before I am ready!

Life's Messy Lessons

As a mother, I've witnessed how a lot of accomplishments come after a messy process. For example, when a toddler first begins self-feeding with a spoon, it never fails that more of the food ends up everywhere else than in the mouth. And don't even get me started about potty training...

And then there's learning to roller skate or ride a bike without training wheels...

Sometimes I forget that one of the main reasons I am here is to learn as I wallow down the muddy pathways or trails that seem to have more stumbling blocks than stepping stones.

In the end, all of those messy misses and painful crashes and overwhelming regrets add up to wisdom and the gratitude that only comes with hindsight.

It helps to know there is One who has taken this path before. He made it safely Home, and because of Him, I can too.



Proverbs 3: 5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."