Yesterday as I sat in church, three children climbing over me, taking turns in my lap (sometimes two at a time), I kissed each one as they came close to me. With each kiss also came a silent prayer of gratitude to my Father in Heaven.
Ten years ago, every Sunday I sat quietly on a bench by my husband, often wiping tears as I turned my internal conversations to God. I prayed for a miracle. I prayed for a baby as I listened to the noise of all of the children around me.
With time (years), I began to pray for joy instead of babies. I clung to the hope that the loving atonement of my Savior could heal my aching mother heart, even if I never became a mother in this life. I prayed for strength to say, "Thy will be done" and really mean it.
God is love. The gift He gave to me, the answer to that prayer, is one of my greatest treasures (and I love that it is also a blessing to my children). I thank Him every day for my happiness: the happiness that comes because of Him, not because of them. My children do make me happy, yes! But I understand that the joy He gave to me (before I knew my children existed) is eternal.
It is a good thing, because I can see that they are going to grow up and go away long before I am ready!
4 comments:
God has certainly blessed you with 3 beautiful miracles he hand picked for you because of your faith in Him. The blessings rained down on you in a beautiful way!
Those children, all 3 of them, are so incredibly blessed to call you "Mom."
I know exactly how you feel. ((Hugs))
I remember praying the same prayer as I went down the path to motherhood. With each failed IVF cycle, my faith was tested. When I found out I was pregnant with quads, I truly had to say "Thy will, not mine, be done." Now, I thank Him for all those times when I had to beg Him for strength to endure.
I hadn't realized that we were kindred spirits in the infertility world. Thank you for sharing. Your children are truly blessed to have you.
Love you,
Michelle
Thank you for the kind comments. Loves!
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