Lest I Forget

The other day I looked across the kitchen at my one-year-old and tried to take a mental picture.  I don't want to forget that moment, the way his cherubic head only stood a few inches above the table top, even though he was strapped into a booster chair.  His eyes were only half open because it was nap time and he had blackberry smoothie all over his face.

Motherhood has been a little overwhelming lately.  Probably because of all of the poop.  I know when I started this blog I said that I was not going to talk about poop, so I apologize if I caught you off guard.  Some days I just have to say to myself, "It will be okay.  This kid will be able to wipe without your help someday, and someday that kid will stop having accidents, and this baby will not be in diapers forever..."

Other days I'd give anything to freeze time, like the first time my first baby called from her crib, "MoOooommeeeee!  I wakin' up."  I heard it loud and clear over the baby monitor, even from my coma (the kind resulting from sleep deprivation).

Or the time my second baby, hardly a hair on her head, purposely made funny faces that had her paternal great-grandmother laughing so hard there were tears rolling down her face.  That baby gave quite a few people the joyful medicine only a good deep-gutted laugh can give.

Then there was the way my third baby used to always smile with his eyes closed and his hands reaching out front in a grabbing motion, like he was trying to tickle me from a distance.  I couldn't plant enough kisses on  his round chipmunk-like cheeks.  The dimple in the left side is like the chocolate syrup, toffee bits, and the cherry on top.

So I savor the sweet moments and endure the poopy ones, reminding myself daily how these bits of Heaven are my greatest treasures.

Some moments are perfect, and even though they are tiny in the eternal timeline, they are still big enough to hold all my love...






It turns out as I was writing this, my baby found a jar of jam on the table and began eating it in true Winnie-the-Pooh-with-a-honey-pot fashion.  I couldn't decide if I should grab a rag or the camera.  Then thinking of how much my mom would love a picture of my son loving on her jam, the camera won the debate.  The only problem is, it wouldn't wake up and take a picture, even with new batteries.  So I tried to use the still shot on my video camera, but they always turn out blurry.

See?

And then I realized this sums up my post perfectly.  Motherhood is sticky, sweet, broken, beautiful, and MESSY.

And I really do love it.