Bedtime Snuggling, Down to a Science

Baby No. 1, Rule No. 1: Baby must be sung to and rocked by Daddy. If he is unavailable, Mommy will suffice, but only if the baby is very tired. Rule No. 2: To help baby fall asleep, caress her arms and legs with fingertips. Baby will hold arm or leg out for maximum reachability.

Baby No. 2, Rule No. 1: Baby must be sung to and rocked by Daddy. If he is unavailable, Mommy will suffice, but she must allow baby to crawl onto her chest and shoulder and snuggle into the neck. Rule No. 2: DO NOT caress her arms and legs with fingertips. This will upset her.

Baby No. 3, Rule No. 1: Baby must be wrapped in a blanket, then sung to and rocked by Daddy. If Daddy is unavailable, Mommy will suffice, but DO NOT try to snuggle baby on the shoulder unless he is facing out. Otherwise he will squirm and fight until he is put down so he can crawl away.

Toddler No. 1, Rule No. 1: Every night she will request to, "Yay on Mommy." Mommy must lay flat on back with toddler on her chest and abdomen until snoozing has commenced. Then she may carefully roll toddler onto her bed and tiptoe out of the room.

Toddler No. 2, Rule No. 1: Every night she will command, "Way buh-bus." The translation for this is "Lay by us." With Child No. 1 tucked into her bed on the top bunk, Mommy or Daddy must lay by Child No. 2 on bottom twin bed. One hand must rest on her chest if she is laying on her back or on her back if she is laying on her front. DO NOT move hand away, not even to quickly scratch an itch, or toddler will grab the hand by the wrist and put it back where it belongs.

When it is finally bedtime for Mommy and Daddy, Daddy must remember to kiss Mommy before he puts on his mask and turns on his VPAP machine. If he forgets, Mommy will give him his good-night kiss on the arm. Then Mommy must position herself below the flow of cold air pouring from the mask.



ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................(for awhile anyway).