The Scarlet (Actually, White) Letters

If I take a walk on garbage day, I like to read the writing on the garbage cans. In my city, the garbage person writes messages on the black tote cans with a white marker or chalk. The notes say things like, "Place cans 6 feet apart," or "Put out past trees," and even threats like, "Out past vehicles or it will be left." There are warnings about past slipups. I've secretly been glad that I have a nice, clean garbage can without any of my garbage sins displayed for all to see.

We left town on Wednesday for Thanksgiving. I asked a neighbor to put my garbage can back after Thursday's garbage day. When we returned home on Sunday, my husband asked me, "Did you know it says on the garbage can that you can only have the can in the street for 12 hours before or after pickup time?" Then I realized that on holidays, the garbage person doesn't come until Friday.

So much for my purity. I couldn't believe the garbage person would actually drive around on Thanksgiving to see who put their cans out too early. Or maybe a neighbor complained? I went to our can to view the graffiti, only to discover that the writing my husband spoke of was only the small square of instructions stamped onto the lid. Whew.

That was a close one!

Quoting the Cute

Five-year-old: "Seven Sakes!"
Me: "What does that mean?"
Five-year-old: "It means 'Holy Cow.'"

Twenty-month-old: "Saw-we."

One day we met my sister-in-law at a park in a town where none of us lived. She was going to take our children to her house while we went on a date. On her way out of town, she took a wrong turn (we took the same wrong turn--who engineered these roads?). My sister-in-law said out loud that she was going the wrong way & my five-year-old daughter said, "Well, we are going to your house. You'd think you'd know your own way."

Twenty-month-old: "I tuck" (translation: I'm stuck).

Five-year-old: "I'm just a little girl. I don't know about these things."

Twenty-month-old daughter sings (while bounce-swaying back and forth): "Mock-kah, Mock-kah (pause) E-I-E-I-E."

Two-month-old son says: "Goo."

"Here Kiddy Kitty"

Both of my daughters could meow before they could talk. My five-year-old daughter has been running around on all fours since she started crawling (do not worry, she also knows how to walk on her hind legs). I am astounded at her ability to dart, on hands and feet, across the back yard or the back room. One of these days I need to get video footage of it.

So anyway, my daughters like to pretend they are cats. I love the purry meows, the naps on my lap, and the funny way they rub my legs with the sides of their heads while I work in the kitchen. I don't love that I've had to dig cat food out of the mouth of my one-year-old= so gross! And I have finally convinced my five-year-old that hand licking is most unsanitary (when you are a human).

One day when she was four, my daughter asked me to open the back door for her. I was on the land line phone--tied to the wall. I reminded her that she knows how to open the door. Then she reminded me that she is a kitty and can not open doors. I told her to stand on her hind legs like the dancing aristocats and open the door because I could not come right then. About ten minutes later when I had finished my phone call, I turned around to see that she was still sitting there on her haunches, patiently waiting for me to let her out.

She's a good kitty.

At the Salad Bar

This is probably a silly thing to blog about. But this is my blog, & right now I want to talk about SALAD. My foster family (& Chuck-a-Rama) always had the best salad bars because they usually had my favorite toppings. For the sake of my personal history, I will now describe my perfect green salad. This may be more important than you think: they may be serving this exact recipe at my descendants' family reunions for years into the far future.

Foundation:
Fresh, Crisp Greens (For me, the more variety in the mix, the better. My sister grows the best greens: organic lettuces with tasty tiny baby greens of all flavors. Masterpiecefull!)

Toppings:

• Peas (1. Good: frozen peas, thawed 2. Better: sprouted peas 3. Best: peas from the garden = one of my favorite things!)
• Carrots (1. Good: sliced 2. Better: shredded 3. Best: small juliennes)
• Cucumbers (1. Good: sliced 2. Best: sliced, then halved)
• Tomatoes (I am not much of a tomato fan--I almost left them off my list. However, garden tomatoes are good on a salad & I can also eat halved cherry tomatoes or grape tomatoes [on a salad] with a smile on my face)
• Sprouts (1. No, not alfalfa sprouts 2. No, not mung (bean) sprouts 3. Best: sprouted Pro-Vita-Mix)
• Baby Spinach (if it's not already in the greens where it should be!)
• Broccoli (small trees)
• Cauliflower (small flowers)
• Olives (green & black, please)
• Mushrooms (sliced, then halved)
• Beans (kidney, black, pinto, garbanzo: pick one or two)
• Pineapple (tidbits)
• Raisins
• Dried Cranberries (aka Craisins®)
• Ham Dices
• Boiled Egg Slices (I feel a poem coming on)
• Ranch Dressing (unless I'm trying to lose weight...then I use those yummy salad spritzers)
• Cheese (1. Good: cheddar 2. Best: Swiss & Parmesan)
• Sunflower Seeds
• Almond Slivers
• Bacon Bits
• Croutons (small is best)

Now I'm salivating. We are eating SALAD for dinner tomorrow! Wait. I have to soak & cook beans & sprout sprouts & buy ham & Craisins® & sunflower seeds & bacon bits first...we are eating SALAD in two days!

Other toppings at the salad bars of family & food joints that I sometimes take or leave:

• Avocado
• Shredded jícama
• Slices of raw yams
• Artichoke hearts
• Corn (I think baby corn is best...I love miniatures!)
• Onions (green, purple...I'd go with chives instead, but that's just me)
• Bell peppers (I prefer yellow or red)
• Diced turkey or chicken
• Pickles (although I'd rather have dilly beans [pickled green beans with a hint of cayenne pepper])
• Celery (no thanks)
• Beets
• Cottage cheese
• Mandarin oranges

It may seem I have complicated salad, which is why we usually eat salad with just carrots & cucumbers with toppings on the table of whatever we have on hand (which often ends up being peas, tomatoes, raisins, croutons, & dressing). Oh, but a salad BAR...I could get drunk there! Only joking: I'm a Mormon, so I don't drink.